Comments on: The No Goody Bag Revolution

By: erika

erika — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:21:24 +0000

You had me laughing out loud about the permanent crayon comment – I have SOOOO had that experience myself! I know there are so many moms out there who dread the goodie bag situation. I know so many moms who wish we could abolish them, but then feel that darn pressure to have them because everyone else does. It’s my hope that if we can get enough parents together all agreeing to make some changes, maybe the kids will 1) stop expecting a goodie bag, and then be happy if they get something and 2) have the parents who choose to give something feel better about giving something, because they enjoy it, not because they HAVE to. We never had any goodie bags when I was growing up – I wish we could “go old school” with that. I have started an program designed to align parents around these types of issues with birthday parties, so that we aren’t alone! Thanks so much for writing this with such humor.

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By: Shinna

Shinna — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:12:48 +0000

Before my son’s last birthday party we had talked about how blessed we are to have all the things we have. His birthday happens to fall at the end of January, so he’d already received lots of gifts for Christmas. I just threw out to him that it might be a good idea to have people bring gifts we could donate to the homeless instead. I was surprised and happy when he wholeheartedly agreed. On our invites, we asked guests not to bring gifts, but if they wanted to bring something, they could bring a flannel blanket that would be donated. After my son’s birthday, we went to the nearest homeless shelter and dropped off the blankets. It was a good lesson, and I think knowing that he helped others out while still having a good time, was a great reward for him.

By: Ivanna at http://www.snapparties.com

Ivanna at http://www.snapparties.com — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:09:18 +0000

I agree that goody bags full of junk is wasteful and not necessary. But I do love the idea that the birthday child can give to their friends and family on their birthday. I think its usually expected that the birthday child receive but not the other way around. (I do write “Gifts not necessary” on my invitations, though) A token of gratitude for being a part of their life more then just coming to the party. I always let my children pass out the goody “toys” and they love doing it. Even at such a young age, they really want to see their friends receive items. That being said, we try to stay away from small items but one nice items. We will be doing a 3 Little Pigs Birthday party for my 1 yo son and we will be passing out pig noses and personalized piggy banks. I love to give and I’m teaching my children the same thing. Yes, giving to charity is wonderful but even giving to the people around us.

By: kelly

kelly — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:50:14 +0000

I thought birthdays were supposed to be our “special day”. After all, we each have one. When everyone expects to receive something, no matter how trivial, it takes the focus off the birthday girl/boy. An important lesson is being lost – that life is not all about “me”. Why is now wrong to teach kids to spend a day honoring a friend on his/her “special day” with no expectations?

By: Molly

Molly — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:24:19 +0000

I’m rather glad to hear that this is a growing trend. As a kid, I never had birthday parties, and I suspected it was because we were the poorest of my friends and my parents couldn’t throw a big blowout with goodies and big cakes, but I loved going to parties! Crafts were always fun goodies, and I don’t ever remember caring about goodie bags. I also always made a present for my friend, which they either thought was cool or would pretend to.
Now that I’m a mom, I have thrown parties for my kids, and I hope they appreciate it. We don’t mind them getting gifts, because my husband and I can’t afford that much for them and what kid doesn’t want toys? Still, it’s disappointing to hear moms saying goodie bags are a “must” and that not having them makes you “cheap”- I hope I never invite one of those moms/kids to our parties! We quite simply can’t afford the things, and I don’t want our kids to feel bad because their parents are “poor”. Other than being expensive they really are useless, I mean, the kids are already going hoe with a fun experience and bellies full of cake and pizza (or healthy alternative).

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:57:52 +0000

My son was once invited to a party where he was told that he could bring a book which would be donated to needy children. I thought that was very nice. I think I might feel offended if I was told “no gifts, if you bring one it will be donated.” Perhaps all in the way it is presented(no pun intended.)

By: Sir911

Sir911 — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:54:16 +0000

This was a great post to read. I’m glad to know that I am not the only one who requested “No gifts please” for a child’s birthday, and thinks goody bags are wasteful. I know most guests will not pay heed my request of no gifts. I am just going to donate all those gifts (baby’s birthday is next week). Would it be rude for me to tell guests or make note on the invitaiton that any gifts recieved will be donated?

By: decaturmom

decaturmom — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:49:50 +0000

Thanks to everyone for your thought-provoking comments. I have learned a lot from reading all of this feedback, for and against goody bags and take-homes of all types. If I dare try to summarize, it seems that the prevailing question is not whether or what children take home from other’s birthday parties but how to make gift-giving more meaningful? And I think that we’ve heard some great ideas such as letting children make their own take homes using arts and crafts. Another idea is to let your child make the take homes for their guests. It is quite special to see a child who is excited to give. And that is something that should be nurtured, in my opinion.

Good luck to those with birthday parties coming up soon! Be strong! And I guess you know where to turn for support

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:33:23 +0000

Hopefully we can all respect each other’s individual preferences. I love parties and have a tendency to go overboard in all ways. After many birthday parties for and attended by my two boys, I have learned some things. I need to try to contain myself…sometimes less really is more. A tough one for me (the knight party involved balloon swords, costumes, shield decorating, a castle bouncy, goody bags etc. etc.) Goody bags are really wasteful and useless. My kids don’t play with most of the toys, they are expensive to buy, there are many perils related to politically correct theming, sugar bans, choking hazards, peanut allergies etc. and they reinforce the worst of our materialistic and throw away culture. That being said, kids do expect to take something home and my kids REALLY want gifts. I hate to use a birthday as a time to teach/punish. So, some solutions that work for a slightly over the top, yet environmentally conscious mama and her greedy little boys: An environmentally themed party. Suggested gifts are garden themed. Each child “planted” a marigold into a dollar store pot and brought it home. All snacks were fruit and veggie oriented. Yes, the cake did have sugar. The book theme party was great for one son, would have been horrible for the other. Instead of goody bags we do crafts to take home (as previous poster suggested.) At the Medieval Party the kids decorated cardboard shields and took them home. I did not need a goody bag. I am thinking of a “magic” themed party and can teach each child a magic trick they can take home. The “parts” are a brown recyclable bag and a quarter. Tye Dye party. Everyone takes home a tie dye shirt. These are just a few ideas I have used. I am sure to some I am still excessive, but remember some of us get true joy from planning a celebration. I would love to hear about any other non-wasteful, environmentally friendly ideas from others! Viva la Goody Bag Revolution!